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SapphireFoxx

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Day560 by SapphireFoxx
Well, it's been a little over six weeks since I had facial feminization surgery with Dr. Spiegel in Boston. I wouldn't say I'm fully recovered yet, especially in places where scars are still clear. However, I'm feeling and looking way better than I was!

The recovery for the surgery was pretty rough. I took two and half weeks off from work and looked like a mess during that time. In the first few days I was so swollen I could barely see, drink, eat, or talk. Heck, it took two weeks to be able to start eating solid food again. The picture on the right was me three days after surgery.

I stayed overnight at the hospital after the surgery. My first night back at home ended up with me getting a slight infection, a fever of 103, and me needing to go to the ER. Fortunately, I had my dad and sister take turns spending time at my house to take care of me for the first week or so.

One of the good parts of how the FFS was done by Dr. Spiegel was that out of the ten incisions I had, seven of them were inside my mouth. Sure it made eating and talking a real pain for a few weeks, but all those scars won't be all over my face. The worst of the incisions is about 14 inches long and extends from the top of one ear, goes across my hairline, and goes all the way to the top of my other ear. Also, my scalp will still be numb for about 6 to 8 months.

It's striking to see the before and after pictures of the different angles of my face. You can see the differences the most in my nose, brow depth, chin, cheeks, and jawline. This may not be 100% how I end up looking since I'm still only six weeks post op. I did these before and after pictures with a relaxed face so you could more clearly see the details.


BeforeAndAfter by SapphireFoxx

I have one other last bit of good news. My next next surgery, breast augmentation, got moved up three weeks by the doctor and I'll be having it in just one month from today! Here's hoping that recovery should be a bit easier than what I just went through. I'm really excited for it!
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Well, there's been only one transition update over the last seven months, so I suppose an overdue update is better than nothing at all. Even though I've been on hormones for about a year and half, I'm still living part time as a guy and girl. However, that will be changing very soon.

day-500

On October 20th, I'll be having Facial Feminization surgery with Dr. Spiegel in Boston. After seeing what he can do, I anticipate I'll look VERY different after the recovery from this. I'll be away from work for 10 to 14 days to rest and heal. Rest assured, I've been planning this for a long time so that everything will continue to run smoothly while I'm gone. It'll actaully be the first time that I've ever taken more than three consecutive days off from work at SapphireFoxx. Even after I feel well enough to work again, it'll take weeks or months for the swelling and bruising on my face to subside into what it will eventually settle as.

Here's the list of all the things that will be going on for my FFS surgery:
         
  • Adam's apple shaved down.
  •      
  • Jawline rounded.
  •      
  • Chin reshaped.
  •      
  • Lip augmentation.
  •      
  • Cheek implants.
  •      
  • Size and shape of the nose.
  •      
  • Reducing the masculine brow bone.
  •      
  • And contouring the hairline into a female pattern.

So, yeah, it's safe to say I'm going to be a mummy this Halloween whether or not I want to be. Although, hopefully it means emerging as a butterfly in November. :)

However... that's actually not all. For January 25th, I'm gifting myself the best 25th birthday present ever! Breast implants! ^.^ These will be a type that I never heard of prior to having the consultation last month with Doctor Vecchio, called "composite implants". That means they'll suck out fat from my waist, then transfer it to above the implants in order to create a more realistic look and feel compared to implants alone. This technique is best for women who start off with a small amount of natural breast tissue because an implant without breast tissue over it looks very fake.

By the way, the breast doctor had a scanning machine that uploaded a 3D image of myself to his computer so we could see what I would look like with different sizes of implants. It was very fun to watch them grow! After getting to see what I'll look like with them, I really can't wait for the real things!

So, I'm really looking forward to both of these happening, and FFS is only 10 days from now! After all this time, I'm finally going full time as a woman. This fall/winter will also be when I start the process to legally have my name changed to Samantha Mokler. I'm going to try to post more updates in the coming months as I go through my own "foxy" transformation!
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   Well, it's been one year since I started hormones, if you can believe it. It's been a long year full of impatience, struggling, and progress. The main topic I wanted to share with you all is what to expect after a year of hormones. For people who are considering it, or are starting out, they think they'll have the figure of a model and 36C breasts after one year. Well, I'll share my personal experiences to give you a real sense of expectations.



   The main point I get from looking at the chart over time is how my measurements only seemed dependent on my fluctuating weight rather than the hormones. There might have been one or two things that broke from the pattern by an inch or less, but for the most part the numbers evenly went up and down with my weight. And no, the hormones didn't affect my weight over time, because that was purely based on how seriously I was taking dieting and exercising.

   As for the bust and under-bust measurements, there has always been three inches of difference since the start simply due to the arch in my ribcage. Also, my chest measurement seemed to mirror my weight more than anything else. While I have noticed some swelling over time, I don't think it's even enough to qualify as an AA cup.

   All of this being said, everyone is affected by hormones differently. Some people will have big changes, and others will experience next to nothing. Age is a big factor, and I started at 23. If you start younger, you might get better results, and if you start older, who knows. Even still, there are many variables like genetics, or how well you can manage your hormone levels. My hormone levels have never really gotten to where I need them to be, which is likely the main reason I didn't see much change.



   The most surprising thing I experienced over the last year was my height shrinking by an inch or inch and a half. Discovering that really caught me off guard. My feet have also had minor shrinkage. I have noticed that I've gotten weaker when it comes to using weights in the gym, such as having a hard time using a 30lb dumbbell now compared to using a 35lb easily at the start. Although, taking seven months off from excising might be part of that reason, in addition to the hormones.

   For things that have changed that can't be measured, my body hair has thinned and gotten lighter to a degree. My body hair has gotten closer to skin color so it's harder to notice when it's grown in, but it still becomes pretty noticeable if I go too long without removing it. Leg and arm hair are the most affected by the hormones, chest hair is moderately affected, and facial hair isn't bothered by hormones at all.

   Over time, I've found that waxing is the best way to combat body hair growing in. Razors have had brief results and caused a lot of razor burn on my skin. Hair removing creams are a pain in the ass (literally, if you don't use them right). Electrolysis is totally impractical for removing body hair due to it being incredibly slow and ineffective (and ultra-painful). As for lasers, I've never been able to test those because they have zero affect on light-haired people. Waxing can last for three to four weeks, and takes 90 minutes to do once a month, and I think it's painless compared to the nightmare called electrolysis.

   Overall, I can honestly say I haven't changed too much. I'm still very much part time, and I don't go out in public as a girl often due to fear. The main thing I feel self-conscious about is my face, which hasn't had much change, and I feel is the biggest giveaway for me actually being a guy, especially if you look at it from an angle. While you can fake things like stuffing a bra, there isn't really anything you can do about a masculine face (I guess makeup, but there's only so much that can do). Hormones might soften some facial features to a small degree, but bones and overall structure will never be changed by hormones.

   Which brings me to some exciting news that I've been working on quietly. In October, I will be having Facial Feminization Surgery done by Dr. Spiegel in Boston! I met him for a consultation earlier this month, and I was very encouraged with the visit. FFS will be the first of a few surgeries I have planned for late 2016 and early 2017. So, I'll be waiting as patiently as I can for the second act of my transition to begin in October!
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Now I have no idea what his damn name is.


We've expanded our free trial section on SapphireFoxx.com so you can now see 75 comic pages and the animation trailers. There will be actual animation trailers, and a preview to the new comic coming soon!

Oh, and Fox's name is Alistair.
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It's been a little over nine months now since I started this whole thing. I thought I'd be doing more of these updates over the course of the process, but honestly there hasn't been much to report. Plus, I try to make these updates positive, but I would be doing potential transgender people out there a disservice if I didn't do honest updates, too. I never really feel like I'm changing all that much. During my nine month hormone level checkup, I might have found a big reason for that.

Start
Testosterone: 650
Estrogen: 0

Three Months
Testosterone: 350
Estrogen: 35

Six Months
Testosterone: 450
Estrogen: 60

Nine Months
Testosterone: 600
Estrogen: 100

My testosterone level started off going down quickly. Then at six months it backtracked a little bit, but not enough to be concerning. Then in the nine month checkup it was nearly as high as it was at the start. That being said, hormone levels can fluctuate by the week or the day, so maybe that 600 was an off day. However, if the trend is true, it would explain why I feel like I never change.

Sometimes I see some change in my face, but my body hasn't really been effected. My measurements never change all that much, nor do I see much growth in places you'd expect it. Plus, body hair continues to be a very persistent problem.



I'm considering switching from daily pills to bi-weekly injections. Many people say the injections are better because they go straight into your bloodstream rather than than being absorbed and filtered through your liver like pills. However, the injections aren't easy, as I tried it for the first time yesterday. It's a two inch long needle than needs to go so deep into your leg than it injects directly into your muscle. It's something I can sit through if someone else does it, but I don't think I have it in me to do that myself. But the big issue with the injection is that there is no testosterone blocking injection, only an estrogen booster. Therefore, I don't really see the benefit of the injections when my estrogen levels have been okay, because it'll do nothing for my high testosterone.

So, in summary, it's not all fun and games while transitioning. You'd think that by nine months in, you're at least an A cup or something, and you're well on your way to womanhood. In all honesty, I don't feel or look much different since I started. Maybe that will change in the coming months, but I don't have a lot of optimism at the moment.
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Featured

Transition Update 9: Facial Feminization Surgery by SapphireFoxx, journal

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